The Amazing Nursingmom

I am obsessed with The Amazing Spiderman Movie so it inspired me for the title of this blog post (hehe).

We had another Parent's Meeting at school, for my eldest child Ace, who is in Nursery. And as usual, my EBF baby boy, Coy, was with me. There's no way (no time & energy left) for me to be pumping & storing breastmilk for now. Heck, it's even a struggle for me to find time to have meals. So baby must come with me, I am a nursing mom. And so, another parent (this happened before) who's sitting next to me asked what baby's age is (just to add, lately I'm not receiving questions that asked how many months but rather 'pila na ni ka tuig?' or in english: how many 'years'?). When I answered that my baby is 8 months old, she seemed amazed and added that he is 'buyag' (I can't translate buyag, but it's something like she can't believe he's still an infant). Then I sensed that just like everybody else, she's gonna ask what's his milk (in many instances, what 'brand' of milk), so I took the opportunity to share before these words come out from her mouth...

By the way, all conversations (written in bold) are originally spoken in vernacular (bisaya/visayan). I said, "He's breastfed so I just can't leave him at home. Besides, he loves it here during meetings." And there, the mom had eyes widened and are dashing with amusement and she added (or to re-confirm the BF thingy), "As in purely breastfed? No powdered milk?" then I proudly replied, "Of course, hello? Formula milk is just too expensive." And just like any other stranger I met for this year, I'm feeling glad that they'd get amazed and would usually comment, "Wow, mother's milk, that's great!" or "Wow, so this child is really close to the mother" or "Wow, how big your financial savings are!" and always, always with the tone of surprise. Can't blame them though, anyone who'd discovered that an ultra petite & teenage-looking mom like me could be capable of producing food for my baby & could dare to pop those boobies in public, would be just as amazed.

To continue, she praised the fact that I am breastfeeding my baby and that's a very great thing but she still seemed to be curious about  my breastfeeding experience (by the way she told me she has a 1.5 year old child left at home, who I suppose is not BF anymore), she asked again, "So you still can't sleep through the night coz you're feeding? Isn't it tiring?" Then again, proudly answered (and corrected this very common misconception) "Oh no 'te, he sleeps by my side, all I do is to be on a side-lying position and that's it, no effort!" She nodded, still surprised and so I added, "Because with my eldest whom I weaned at only 5 months old, I experienced the most dead-tired days and nights of my life. Imagine getting up at night, at dawn, at sunrise just to prepare milk, shake the bottles then wash & sterilize them all. With BF, all I do is lie down, I don't even have to really wake-up, I mean anybody can do that (change position) while half-asleep or even on deep sleep so technically, I am sleeping through the night." And I smiled the whole time while explaining.

Ok so I guess, for that day, and for that specific mom, breastfeeding is well-'defended', oh well like I'm at a court trial (hehe). More to go. Hwew! I just can't believe many parents still are amazed, but I don't know if it's a good thing though, sometimes I think that they think it's too inconvenient for a young-looking mom like me and that they think I am rich (I just look like one but I'm so penniless/unemployed), thinking that I can afford formula milk but why settle for this impractical, non-modernized, primitive way of feeding (I think that's what they think). In my mind, they might even wonder why I dare to face the hassle of bringing baby anytime anywhere, why dare to bare (sadly, Filipinos still have this discrimination for BFing & most people associate this to be only for the poor who can't afford formula milk, or for those unattractive not-so-young moms since men wouldn't care to look at her topless expo), why dare to wake-up at night feedings, dare to submit myself as a full-time mom when I can do better and earn money as a career-woman, and many other suffs I personally call 'myths'.

Well I completely understand, we all have different choices, beliefs and priorities. But just in my humble opinion, the fact is, there is something better than all of these (of what they think is better)-- and for me that's the 'best'. And the best choice, best belief, and best priority is what I have right now. Might not always be best for everybody but it is for ME. Afterall this is my baby, my family, my boobs, my life. I'm willing to share to anyone what works best for me (with matching #BREASTisBEST hashtags on my Instagram photos of me, beautifully and blissfully breastfeeding). And yes, just simply be amazed. ;)

My Not-so-Beautiful Hospitalization Adventures

It was April last year 2012 when I was still working... my 2-year-old daughter who is usually hyperactive every second of everyday seemed to be normal (behave na).  SUPER unusual. But when the time came that she's no longer feeding , talking or even smiling, my heart and my mind was blown as I got home from work and staring at my matamlay baby girl. And I know at that very moment I am on "panic mode". Heck! I don't even have an income, just a volunteer nurse for two different services: a Diagnostic Laboratory and a non-profit OB Clinic. Volunteer, yes, not so charitable of me eh? ;) And then, that moment, I know this calls for hospitalization and that means we're gonna spend money-- lots of money (kaysa naman sa mapabayaan kami sa Government hospital. hmm). This is all so intense for me, it's my daughter's first hospitalization (aside from her birth) and first time to get really sick. She was vomiting and also pooping water! As in super watery stools and lethargic. My mom and hubby assisted me during the hospitalization. Upon discharging, my heart was pounding so hard waiting for our bill. But thank God, it was much less that I expected. Thanks to Phil Health! 

January that year (2012) I already contributed for years 2012 and 2013. And my baby Ace is my dependent. It's a big help. Especially that after my daughter's hospitalization, upon arriving home, I felt so sick. I'm having all the symptoms my daughter experienced (vomiting, diarrhea, lethargy, loss of appetite) and obviously shows i caught the virus or bacteria (it was not diagnosed, basta lang kay "Moderate Dehydration due to Gastroenteritis" daw yun. It's too difficult din to "catch" a good specimen for stool exam when there's just no stool, only water! And again, I know for sure I'm gonna get admitted! 

I don't know but these happenings made me think that it's really true that "bad luck strikes not just once but twice, or even thrice" (Big sigh)... I had to be hospitalized, I can't even have the power to sit or to talk! Super drained energy (Plus, it's stressful to be a patient's watcher esp. if the patient is your child). All the contributing factors made me stayed at the hospital for a couple of days. That's the saddest days of my life. For 2 years of no-separation from my first-born Ace, that time, it is happening. I miss her so much. Hubby had to get excused from work to take care of me (mom took care of my daughter). My sister wasn't here at Davao to help me (more sadly, she also had the bug, same symptoms w/ ours, only that, she's at Cebu that time to be our represebattive as our Clan mourns for the death our father's brother. Mas kawawa siya coz siya lang mag-isa doon.)

Haaay.. What an illness! This is epic! During my hospital stay, all I wanted is the intravenous administration of pregnant-safe drugs to control my excessive vomiting and the fetal heart monitoring. YES... That time I (secretly) was 3 months PREGNANT (with my charming baby Coy, my 2nd child) and nobody knows but me and Mel (and my OB-GYN just knew about it too). Hubby and I are conquering one of the real-life storms and are actualizing our "in sickness and in health" marriage vows. And we were unable to tell everyone about our second baby for some personal reasons so it's just among us, the medical team. It was super! All the secrets, the stresses, the illnesses. But again, thanks to PHIC, the bill wasn't that big. Great help for patients like us who are getting crazy with all other financial and emotional stuffs.

After that, I promised myself to stay healthy and also, as much as possible, prepare for emergency situations like these. God cannot ensure us, whether rich or poor, that we're gonna have healthy and emergency-proof lives. So better be prepared. One way is to secure your PHIC matters. The MDR I used for our April hospitalization is still the one I used for the birth of 2nd baby on October 2012. So Here are some quick info about it...

>REQUIREMENTS:

(Submit the following to the billing section prior to hospital discharge:)

*CF1 FORM (Duly accomplished PhilHealth Claim Form 1)

You can get this from the hospital or download it at www.philhealth.gov.ph. Fill your information together with the patient’s information. AND then (if employed) give it to your employer to be filled-up.

*CERTIFICATE OF CONTRIBUTION

(IF EMPLOYED) This is a certificate of your contribution to PhilHealth from your employer. It should state at least 6 months of contribution. Stating your participating amount, date of payment and OR number.

*MDR (Member Data Record) 

Clear copy of MDR. This your record from Philhealth together with your beneficiaries. This is a proof that your are registered at Philhealth. You can get this at any Philhealth center near you, anytime. In my case, I am "individually paying or volunteer" so I just showed my official receipts. If you are expecting, better get one ASAP, you don't want to get this one right after ka ni-raspa.

*PROOF OF RELATION

If the patient is not registered with your Philhealth (shown in your MDR), you need to provide this requirement.

If the patient is your spouse, you need a Marriage Certificate. And if the patient is your child, parent, or sibling, you need their Birth Certificate.

>HELPFUL TIPS:

* Prepare all the documents needed prior to confinement or as early as the day of confinement. It is easier to get the claim when it is included in your bill than reimbursing it after the confinement (but hospitals usually require people to process this within 24 hours upon admission).

* Ask you doctor, if he/she is accepting Philhealth. So that they will be informed that they have to deduct Philhealth from their charge. Again, discounts, we love! ;)

* Be a smart one, research and discover. Know more about your benefits. See PHIC's FAQs section.

http://www.philhealth.gov.ph/members/employed/faqs.html

* Davao City's new PHIC center is now located at Magallanes St. 

Good luck and let's all stay healthy, as much as possible and be prepared for some of these not-so-beautiful instances.

Why Marry Early and Have Kids Young?

Okay so we’ve been asked (or advised)– why have kids so early? You should enjoy singlehood! Party hard! Travel the world while you are young and have the time to. We (hubby Mel and I) also asked ourselves, why really?

Hmmm... It's crazy but we are already in it. But why? IT IS BECAUSE maybe we kind of wanted to retire early (from work) and to travel together -- w/ our kids after we retire. We're doing things the other way around. Maybe we want to have a kid while we have the energy to babysit and play w/ hyper kids or relate to teens when we ourselves are still 'kinda' teens. Party hard? We party even harder now and hundred times more happier coz we finally live together and baby Ace also joins partying with us. We have our "SHATurdays" Photo album on Facebook (pero huwag tularan mga bata.hehe). We bring the party at home, and not anymore on bars and clubs. And sometimes, it's just okay not to party at all. Snuggling w/ each other on our cozy family bed after a movie date at our living room is pretty much better, and less expensive!

Seriously, when people ask something like this, we feel they are treating us as dumbasses, not thinking and not planning for a good life. But that's okay. We don't blame them coz we know that they have different views. And that "good life" they mean is mostly money-centered. But hey, FYI, we are thinking. All these, from the pregnancy and the marriage... these are all planned, actually. Years of planning and analysis. So just let us work it out. Again, we're no dumbasses and let us remind you, this is 'OUR' HAPPY LIFE. We both decided (we actually did) to have a child early on, and despite everything that has happened in the last few years, we wouldn’t have changed that. Oh we so love our life with Ace! We support having children in the age of 20-25 because of possibilities of keeping up a good relationship with them during childhood. It’s really significant having positive and mutual bonds between parents and their kids. And small age difference can only help in that case. Beside that, you can prepare yourself to later decision of having another child because you have somehow had an experience already. (2013 UPDATE: We already have our 2nd child, Coy.)

We constantly hear about waiting to have kids until one can “afford” them or is “ready” for them. But for us, the joy of parenthood is always being just a little unready. Older professional parents tend to be so rigid and conformist. Everything by the book. Not so cool. Others tend to be so rich financially, while compromising quality parenting (overworked parents or those stucked to work overtime, or abroad, away from child for years), not knowing that they are creating creatures called SPOILED CHILDREN (that's an active link for my blog post about it.)

Still don't get what we mean? Worry not, you don't have to "get" it in the first place coz it's not YOUR challenge and definitely not YOUR reward.

We just thought that, if we have children after the age of 30, then when we are 40+ our kids are still young and we are losing our vitality, patience and energy to keep up with them (knowing that the Generation Z is super hype. Well good luck to us!). We are now 23 and have a toddler. By the time we are 45, our eldest will be taking care of herself-- a professional and happily married, if not a nun. We also simply didn’t want to be parents who can't even stand up due to arthritis or worse, seated on a wheelchair with O2 inhalation via nasal cannula during our kid's debut party. I know it's exaggerated but it happens to some (and it's horrible, some kids are left orphans because of parents dying early-- or maybe not that early, it's just NORMAL to die on our 40s considering that the human lifespan is getting shorter nowadays due to a lot of lifestyle and environmental factors). Or like our very own parents that are almost retirees but are still having to pay for the tuition fees of their "babies" that are in high school and college. Yes, BABIES, our little sisters are still so young. BUT JUST A REMINDER: I AM NOT GENERALIZING, many older parents are very good parents. But again, that does not mean that the younger ones can't be that good. FOR us, we wanted to be there with them (our kid/s), with an excitement of youth still in my mind, so we could just simply grow up altogether. We admit that we are not right (we are so wrong) coz we did not prioritize our career, our houses, cars, gadgets, financing our little sister's schooling FIRST. But that does not mean we can't do something good (being right isn't always good and being wrong isn't always bad, if you get what I mean. Yes, I am a crazy writer. hehe). 

As for me, I really did my best to prioritize my profession (that damn license). I got pregnant at the same time I took & PASSED the board exam, i just did not pursue my parent's dream of me working abroad (and so i could support my younger sister's schooling). But i am way much better compared to that of a "highschool lang ang tinapos" young teen mom. Mel also did his best working and waiting for years at Manila to have his family's dream job for him (same w/ me, work abroad to support younger sister's schooling --Parentification that is, I'm blogging about it next time). BUT DESTINY BROUGHT US HERE-- TO BE TOGETHER: ONE HAPPY FAMILY, NO MATTER WHAT.

We figured out that kids are forever, and a career simply is not. 

So grab the opportunity for what’s really important in life while you can. You familiar w/ this quote? People don’t say on their deathbeds, “I wish I’d worked longer hours.” They say,”I wish I’d spent more time with my family.” See? That is also one thing that we've analized for years and years. That the most important things on earth are NOT THINGS (i've read that from Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life). And that evrything in life will fall apart, coz the only thing permanent in life is FAMILY (i've read that from Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love). Ok, blame my being overly "pilosopa" attitude to the books I read! haha

As a conclusion, although we're happier now, we know this marriage and parenthood that we started early on is just ain't easy. Sure it means at times we struggle, but hey, life wasn’t meant to be easy, and we certainly know that for sure! ;]