MOMMYDIARIES: Beating My Kadayawan Blues

Kadayawan... Festival, Feast, Festive.. But this 2013, I spent it asleep at home with my baby. Everybody else in the family, including my firstborn kid went out on their different trips to check out some 'kalingawan' (happenings) around and just celebrate the city's biggest festival. It's okay coz I'm learning to be a "home buddy" now. It's just that I (super duper) wanted to go to DavCon for The Great Kadayawan Trade Fair and Bazaar, to shop, eat, see my  friends' booths. Through the years, I always check-out the Trade Fair there but since it was cloudy/rainy and I'm all alone (with my baby), I didn't risked it. I also wanted to see my kid crush Daniel Padilla (haha, don't laugh, but I fancy him).  But it's okay. As long as I have eaten a lot of duryans at The Durian Festival! (haha). It's okay for me, really, although i am teasing myself for slightly pretending. I did this last year too, I was so pregnant, just behaved, but at least last year I had photos of some floral floats, exhibits, etc. This 2013 is kind of a "Rest Year" for me, if there's such a term.

But I still got to admit, a tiny part of me is screaming inside, that I hated it this way. When I was a student, it was a 'tragedy' for me if I'm on night/graveyard shift for hospital duty during kadayawan week. I see the Mall Sale spotlights calling me, the cheerful music outside and the text invites of friends partying & these are all killing me. It's kind of a big deal for me, yes, it's because Kadayawan for me is not just about shopping on sale galore, eating unli durian, or food tripping. Kadayawan Nights, as I call it, were the best nights of the year, well, for me. When I was younger, and a party animal too, kadayawan for me means being out with my gay friends, looking out for our favorite celebs on malls (it's a shame to admit but i dare to go w/ a stampede of fans just to get starstrucked.haha) and when the moon is up, I spend the entire night drinking out, bar hop with friends anywhere and i only go home during sunrise (mom wants me safe so she would prefer 6am than 2am. haha Yeah, cool mom!). I sleep all day and wake up with a hangover and freshen up a bit and do it all again. Young, wild, carefree. That's just me. Well, as for an UPDATE-- that 'was' me.

It WAS my life, way back when there's no Ace and no Coy Coy waiting for their mommy at home (but today, i could NEVER imagine life without them, EVER). Of course, along with my early pregnancy and marriage, I am aware of the consequence that my youth would not be fully shut-down in a blink of an eye so i had to double my effort to update/upgrade myself into a 'proper' mom & a wife. After I gave birth with firstborn daughter Ace, sometimes I pump and throw breastmilk after having a 'mommy break'. I did that silly thing just to go out to take a 'night off' from my new & strange job called motherhood, then just party, drink, smoke. I even hang out with guy friends (i used to pefer to be with dudes than girls) but with permission w/ hubby of course, who is the one watching over our baby at home. I dared to do those stuffs, really, (right now I can't also imagine myself that I was once like that but i do have evidences on my old Friendster photos. haha It's a different version of my latest self now.) Yeah, upgrade indeed coz years passed by, my urge to do those stuffs gradually decreased. I finally had the strength to decline (& endure doing that) the invites of my single friends. The last time I went out for a drink was during those nights I probably conceived my latest baby, Coy. That's around January last 2012. Hooray for me, I'm vices-free for 1.5 year and EBF is a major factor for my clean-living now. Yay!

I now find inspiration in the quote ''Sorry I suck as a friend, I'm too busy being an awesome mom.'' (hehe, it's cute!) Now that I fully embraced mommyhood and I see my gorgeous, gifted children, I say, there's always a Kadayawan, a party, a celebration some other time. And you beer, you can wait for me (wink) but this time, I'm a 'Family First' kind of gal and let's just have a feast on that.

The Amazing Nursingmom

I am obsessed with The Amazing Spiderman Movie so it inspired me for the title of this blog post (hehe).

We had another Parent's Meeting at school, for my eldest child Ace, who is in Nursery. And as usual, my EBF baby boy, Coy, was with me. There's no way (no time & energy left) for me to be pumping & storing breastmilk for now. Heck, it's even a struggle for me to find time to have meals. So baby must come with me, I am a nursing mom. And so, another parent (this happened before) who's sitting next to me asked what baby's age is (just to add, lately I'm not receiving questions that asked how many months but rather 'pila na ni ka tuig?' or in english: how many 'years'?). When I answered that my baby is 8 months old, she seemed amazed and added that he is 'buyag' (I can't translate buyag, but it's something like she can't believe he's still an infant). Then I sensed that just like everybody else, she's gonna ask what's his milk (in many instances, what 'brand' of milk), so I took the opportunity to share before these words come out from her mouth...

By the way, all conversations (written in bold) are originally spoken in vernacular (bisaya/visayan). I said, "He's breastfed so I just can't leave him at home. Besides, he loves it here during meetings." And there, the mom had eyes widened and are dashing with amusement and she added (or to re-confirm the BF thingy), "As in purely breastfed? No powdered milk?" then I proudly replied, "Of course, hello? Formula milk is just too expensive." And just like any other stranger I met for this year, I'm feeling glad that they'd get amazed and would usually comment, "Wow, mother's milk, that's great!" or "Wow, so this child is really close to the mother" or "Wow, how big your financial savings are!" and always, always with the tone of surprise. Can't blame them though, anyone who'd discovered that an ultra petite & teenage-looking mom like me could be capable of producing food for my baby & could dare to pop those boobies in public, would be just as amazed.

To continue, she praised the fact that I am breastfeeding my baby and that's a very great thing but she still seemed to be curious about  my breastfeeding experience (by the way she told me she has a 1.5 year old child left at home, who I suppose is not BF anymore), she asked again, "So you still can't sleep through the night coz you're feeding? Isn't it tiring?" Then again, proudly answered (and corrected this very common misconception) "Oh no 'te, he sleeps by my side, all I do is to be on a side-lying position and that's it, no effort!" She nodded, still surprised and so I added, "Because with my eldest whom I weaned at only 5 months old, I experienced the most dead-tired days and nights of my life. Imagine getting up at night, at dawn, at sunrise just to prepare milk, shake the bottles then wash & sterilize them all. With BF, all I do is lie down, I don't even have to really wake-up, I mean anybody can do that (change position) while half-asleep or even on deep sleep so technically, I am sleeping through the night." And I smiled the whole time while explaining.

Ok so I guess, for that day, and for that specific mom, breastfeeding is well-'defended', oh well like I'm at a court trial (hehe). More to go. Hwew! I just can't believe many parents still are amazed, but I don't know if it's a good thing though, sometimes I think that they think it's too inconvenient for a young-looking mom like me and that they think I am rich (I just look like one but I'm so penniless/unemployed), thinking that I can afford formula milk but why settle for this impractical, non-modernized, primitive way of feeding (I think that's what they think). In my mind, they might even wonder why I dare to face the hassle of bringing baby anytime anywhere, why dare to bare (sadly, Filipinos still have this discrimination for BFing & most people associate this to be only for the poor who can't afford formula milk, or for those unattractive not-so-young moms since men wouldn't care to look at her topless expo), why dare to wake-up at night feedings, dare to submit myself as a full-time mom when I can do better and earn money as a career-woman, and many other suffs I personally call 'myths'.

Well I completely understand, we all have different choices, beliefs and priorities. But just in my humble opinion, the fact is, there is something better than all of these (of what they think is better)-- and for me that's the 'best'. And the best choice, best belief, and best priority is what I have right now. Might not always be best for everybody but it is for ME. Afterall this is my baby, my family, my boobs, my life. I'm willing to share to anyone what works best for me (with matching #BREASTisBEST hashtags on my Instagram photos of me, beautifully and blissfully breastfeeding). And yes, just simply be amazed. ;)