MOMMYDIARIES: Family's Health is Wealth

MOMMY DIARIES: FAMILY'S HEALTH IS WEALTH

Haven't had a cough for years now. I thought it was just "panohot", and now I'm having a cough, the "kagalkal" type and it's not cool and not good, I kinda look like TB-hon (funny but true. huhu). Plus, both my kids have sinat, not so hot naman but just unwell (ate has sipon & is not hyper, and bunso "always" wants to see me, as in ALL-the-freakin-time). Then my sister is showing some signs of Dengue (fatigue, on-off fever, metallic taste, rashes)! T.T

Definitely my money for the baptism of my almost-toddler son will be spent for some more important stuffs, again. But i don't care too much about the money, I want our good health back. I know, righteous people would suggest me to "work" already so that I could help financing our needs and wants, but I already had TOO much work to do now (full-time mom-of-two YOUNG kids) and much savings than we thouht which is more than what I would be receiving as my "supposedly" sweldo if i am employed (around 10k on breastmilk alone and 6k+ on the nannies, thousandsss on the gasoline, food, laundry allowance, etc etc-- I computed them all before going into this "battle" of familiado life.) So, unsolicited advices are not appreciated unless you are in my shoes.  We may not have much money when we "strategized" to start a family (and to graduate earlier) as young parents but we are doing the best that we can, just not that bongga kinda life that I "used to" have. As long as we are in good health, that's less gastos, so that's also wealth.

I just pray that they'd all get well STAT, esp. my little children and that I'd be spared from futher illnesses. I need my superhuman strength to fulfill the tasks of MOTHERS esp. in times like these, damn, they (moms) really are SUPERHEROES. But as the song goes, even heroes have the right to bleed. Help me God. I need more prayers too.

--Ang Gipanohot nga Mama

MOMMYDIARIES: Beating My Kadayawan Blues

Kadayawan... Festival, Feast, Festive.. But this 2013, I spent it asleep at home with my baby. Everybody else in the family, including my firstborn kid went out on their different trips to check out some 'kalingawan' (happenings) around and just celebrate the city's biggest festival. It's okay coz I'm learning to be a "home buddy" now. It's just that I (super duper) wanted to go to DavCon for The Great Kadayawan Trade Fair and Bazaar, to shop, eat, see my  friends' booths. Through the years, I always check-out the Trade Fair there but since it was cloudy/rainy and I'm all alone (with my baby), I didn't risked it. I also wanted to see my kid crush Daniel Padilla (haha, don't laugh, but I fancy him).  But it's okay. As long as I have eaten a lot of duryans at The Durian Festival! (haha). It's okay for me, really, although i am teasing myself for slightly pretending. I did this last year too, I was so pregnant, just behaved, but at least last year I had photos of some floral floats, exhibits, etc. This 2013 is kind of a "Rest Year" for me, if there's such a term.

But I still got to admit, a tiny part of me is screaming inside, that I hated it this way. When I was a student, it was a 'tragedy' for me if I'm on night/graveyard shift for hospital duty during kadayawan week. I see the Mall Sale spotlights calling me, the cheerful music outside and the text invites of friends partying & these are all killing me. It's kind of a big deal for me, yes, it's because Kadayawan for me is not just about shopping on sale galore, eating unli durian, or food tripping. Kadayawan Nights, as I call it, were the best nights of the year, well, for me. When I was younger, and a party animal too, kadayawan for me means being out with my gay friends, looking out for our favorite celebs on malls (it's a shame to admit but i dare to go w/ a stampede of fans just to get starstrucked.haha) and when the moon is up, I spend the entire night drinking out, bar hop with friends anywhere and i only go home during sunrise (mom wants me safe so she would prefer 6am than 2am. haha Yeah, cool mom!). I sleep all day and wake up with a hangover and freshen up a bit and do it all again. Young, wild, carefree. That's just me. Well, as for an UPDATE-- that 'was' me.

It WAS my life, way back when there's no Ace and no Coy Coy waiting for their mommy at home (but today, i could NEVER imagine life without them, EVER). Of course, along with my early pregnancy and marriage, I am aware of the consequence that my youth would not be fully shut-down in a blink of an eye so i had to double my effort to update/upgrade myself into a 'proper' mom & a wife. After I gave birth with firstborn daughter Ace, sometimes I pump and throw breastmilk after having a 'mommy break'. I did that silly thing just to go out to take a 'night off' from my new & strange job called motherhood, then just party, drink, smoke. I even hang out with guy friends (i used to pefer to be with dudes than girls) but with permission w/ hubby of course, who is the one watching over our baby at home. I dared to do those stuffs, really, (right now I can't also imagine myself that I was once like that but i do have evidences on my old Friendster photos. haha It's a different version of my latest self now.) Yeah, upgrade indeed coz years passed by, my urge to do those stuffs gradually decreased. I finally had the strength to decline (& endure doing that) the invites of my single friends. The last time I went out for a drink was during those nights I probably conceived my latest baby, Coy. That's around January last 2012. Hooray for me, I'm vices-free for 1.5 year and EBF is a major factor for my clean-living now. Yay!

I now find inspiration in the quote ''Sorry I suck as a friend, I'm too busy being an awesome mom.'' (hehe, it's cute!) Now that I fully embraced mommyhood and I see my gorgeous, gifted children, I say, there's always a Kadayawan, a party, a celebration some other time. And you beer, you can wait for me (wink) but this time, I'm a 'Family First' kind of gal and let's just have a feast on that.

My Mom & Child Terno Experience: Swimwear

It's summertime and I browsed my kids' photos and realized that on their "My First Summer Swim" Photos, ay naka-terno pala kami. hehe Girl or boy, I just had it in me to make "terno" session with my kids. With my daughter Ace, it was Summer 2010 when she had her "first swimwear" and "first swimming". With my son,  Coy, it was Summer 2013. But both of them were 5 months old. And me, 5 months post-partum. 

With Ace, i got some old swimwear, and the extra boyleg shorts was the one I sew and transformed into a bikini set (little bra and panty, plus that flower headband) which has the same fabric and design with my bikini set.hehe I really didn't have money to buy terno swimear so DIY is the key. (Low resolution ang camera noong unang panahon.hehe Sinadya ko na lang din paliitin ang photos para hindi masyado obvious ang tiyan ko.hehe)

There, I really DARED to wear a bikini! And yes, I have super great confidence exposing my "stretched" tummy.HAHA It's already small (at one month post-partum, I usually get back to my pre-prego shape) but the skin is just "eww". But well, even if it is dark and ugly, that's not something to be ashamed of. That's something I am proud of, actually because (since I do not have stretch marks, just like my mom), that symbolizes that I once carried a human being within this dark, ugly, stretched skin and besides, that's the only physical proof that I'm already a mom! ;)

With my son, it so happened that I am into Zebra prints. My prego leggings, my hospital bag, crib, iPad case, etc etc. are all zebra prints and so I bought a Zebra Highwaist swimwear along with my other designs which I sold online, then paired with Coy's zebra print modern cloth diaper, and we're good to go. So terno!

*Pansin niyo, with my daughter, medyo may boobs ako coz I didn't nursed her before picture-taking (sinadya ko din yun para medyo engorged at para magka-boobs. FIRST TIME ko mag bikini na may boobs ako eh, thank you for understanding! haha). With my son, nagkataon kaka-nurse ko lang (no choice, EBF siya eh) sa photoshoot so medyo invisible ang booblets.hehe Pero okay lang. Keri pa rin! ;)

I wanted to dress-up more na terno kami ng kids ko. And someday, I'd dare to wear a bikini (but because I'm not that "kapal muks" na, I'd still need more time, muscle toning and skin tightening.) And I am hoping I could find something that's terno with my TWO kids-- and that'd be TWO times the fun!

Why Marry Early and Have Kids Young?

Okay so we’ve been asked (or advised)– why have kids so early? You should enjoy singlehood! Party hard! Travel the world while you are young and have the time to. We (hubby Mel and I) also asked ourselves, why really?

Hmmm... It's crazy but we are already in it. But why? IT IS BECAUSE maybe we kind of wanted to retire early (from work) and to travel together -- w/ our kids after we retire. We're doing things the other way around. Maybe we want to have a kid while we have the energy to babysit and play w/ hyper kids or relate to teens when we ourselves are still 'kinda' teens. Party hard? We party even harder now and hundred times more happier coz we finally live together and baby Ace also joins partying with us. We have our "SHATurdays" Photo album on Facebook (pero huwag tularan mga bata.hehe). We bring the party at home, and not anymore on bars and clubs. And sometimes, it's just okay not to party at all. Snuggling w/ each other on our cozy family bed after a movie date at our living room is pretty much better, and less expensive!

Seriously, when people ask something like this, we feel they are treating us as dumbasses, not thinking and not planning for a good life. But that's okay. We don't blame them coz we know that they have different views. And that "good life" they mean is mostly money-centered. But hey, FYI, we are thinking. All these, from the pregnancy and the marriage... these are all planned, actually. Years of planning and analysis. So just let us work it out. Again, we're no dumbasses and let us remind you, this is 'OUR' HAPPY LIFE. We both decided (we actually did) to have a child early on, and despite everything that has happened in the last few years, we wouldn’t have changed that. Oh we so love our life with Ace! We support having children in the age of 20-25 because of possibilities of keeping up a good relationship with them during childhood. It’s really significant having positive and mutual bonds between parents and their kids. And small age difference can only help in that case. Beside that, you can prepare yourself to later decision of having another child because you have somehow had an experience already. (2013 UPDATE: We already have our 2nd child, Coy.)

We constantly hear about waiting to have kids until one can “afford” them or is “ready” for them. But for us, the joy of parenthood is always being just a little unready. Older professional parents tend to be so rigid and conformist. Everything by the book. Not so cool. Others tend to be so rich financially, while compromising quality parenting (overworked parents or those stucked to work overtime, or abroad, away from child for years), not knowing that they are creating creatures called SPOILED CHILDREN (that's an active link for my blog post about it.)

Still don't get what we mean? Worry not, you don't have to "get" it in the first place coz it's not YOUR challenge and definitely not YOUR reward.

We just thought that, if we have children after the age of 30, then when we are 40+ our kids are still young and we are losing our vitality, patience and energy to keep up with them (knowing that the Generation Z is super hype. Well good luck to us!). We are now 23 and have a toddler. By the time we are 45, our eldest will be taking care of herself-- a professional and happily married, if not a nun. We also simply didn’t want to be parents who can't even stand up due to arthritis or worse, seated on a wheelchair with O2 inhalation via nasal cannula during our kid's debut party. I know it's exaggerated but it happens to some (and it's horrible, some kids are left orphans because of parents dying early-- or maybe not that early, it's just NORMAL to die on our 40s considering that the human lifespan is getting shorter nowadays due to a lot of lifestyle and environmental factors). Or like our very own parents that are almost retirees but are still having to pay for the tuition fees of their "babies" that are in high school and college. Yes, BABIES, our little sisters are still so young. BUT JUST A REMINDER: I AM NOT GENERALIZING, many older parents are very good parents. But again, that does not mean that the younger ones can't be that good. FOR us, we wanted to be there with them (our kid/s), with an excitement of youth still in my mind, so we could just simply grow up altogether. We admit that we are not right (we are so wrong) coz we did not prioritize our career, our houses, cars, gadgets, financing our little sister's schooling FIRST. But that does not mean we can't do something good (being right isn't always good and being wrong isn't always bad, if you get what I mean. Yes, I am a crazy writer. hehe). 

As for me, I really did my best to prioritize my profession (that damn license). I got pregnant at the same time I took & PASSED the board exam, i just did not pursue my parent's dream of me working abroad (and so i could support my younger sister's schooling). But i am way much better compared to that of a "highschool lang ang tinapos" young teen mom. Mel also did his best working and waiting for years at Manila to have his family's dream job for him (same w/ me, work abroad to support younger sister's schooling --Parentification that is, I'm blogging about it next time). BUT DESTINY BROUGHT US HERE-- TO BE TOGETHER: ONE HAPPY FAMILY, NO MATTER WHAT.

We figured out that kids are forever, and a career simply is not. 

So grab the opportunity for what’s really important in life while you can. You familiar w/ this quote? People don’t say on their deathbeds, “I wish I’d worked longer hours.” They say,”I wish I’d spent more time with my family.” See? That is also one thing that we've analized for years and years. That the most important things on earth are NOT THINGS (i've read that from Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life). And that evrything in life will fall apart, coz the only thing permanent in life is FAMILY (i've read that from Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love). Ok, blame my being overly "pilosopa" attitude to the books I read! haha

As a conclusion, although we're happier now, we know this marriage and parenthood that we started early on is just ain't easy. Sure it means at times we struggle, but hey, life wasn’t meant to be easy, and we certainly know that for sure! ;]