Philippines Breastfeeding Smart Mob 2013

Hello people of the Philippines! I bet you didn't know, August is the BREASTFEEDING MONTH. Now you know, so let us celebrate! Join the BREASTFEEDING SMART MOB 2013! #BreastfeedingPH #smartmob

To all breastfeeding pinays (purely / mixed, directly / pumping), also open to pregnant moms determined to breastfeed and also to those BF advocates who just weaned... Mag tapok og mag ila-ila ta (let's meet and greet) as we celebrate World Breastfeeding Month!

"COMING TOGETHER, FEEDING TOGETHER"
(A Breastfeeding Awareness Campaign)

This is a simultaneous event happening in various venues at Luzon, Visayas & Mindanao. First time in the Philippines. Tara! Don't be shy. Let's meet, greet and latch altogether.

When? Aug 3, 2013, Saturday at 3 - 4 pm

Where? Various venues in the country. (for Davao: Don Beppe Ristorante Italiano at The Peak, Gaisano Mall of Davao). For other locations in the Philippines, see the posters below.

What to do?
Simple... Let's meet, greet and latch alogether. =) (For Davao: Look for the ladies in orange with babies wearing white, that's me and some of my mommy friends from The POD-- medyo kinareer lang, nagpa print talaga ng breastfeeding shirts. hehe)

What to wear?
Wear any comfortable clothing, you may also use nursing covers. (For Davao: if possible, moms wear a color ORANGE top so that we'd be more "shocking" and let the babies wear WHITE. Well, just for uniformity in our pictorial <char>). Documentation will later be shared to the web through our photos and blogs.

Why?
Just IMHO (in my humble opinion) we do this to promote and "normalize" breastfeeding. We can still get too self-conscious to even try breastfeeding in public and only do it in private for some personal reasons (but not me.. or am I just so proud to flaunt that I finally have boobs now? hehe). Because sometimes our society makes us feel that nursing in public is obscene. But, indecent clothes and pornography are more socially acceptable than us women simply "feeding" our babies. And that's not cool! So together, let us fight for our right to breastfeed in public. Show the world how we can beautifully and blissfully breastfeed our beloved babies without discrimination.

In the first place, why breastfeed?
(Again, IMHO) This smart mob also aims to educate families about breastfeeding. Breasfeeding is still the healthiest & best way to feed (and to love) our children despite the availability of over-priced cow's milk extravangantly marketed by multi-million "business" companies. (Lactivist lang ang peg? hehe) And the best part, it saves us a lot of money. Heck, it's FREE milk! So, let's help market breastfeeding, also for free. 

See you!
Let's say hi to each other for an hour. I swear, it's super fun to meet new moms and have a mommy support group. Let's help empower Filipino women to nurse their babies in public places. 

Spread the word!
Invite all your fab BFFs (breastfeeding friends).  The more, the merrier!

Event Poster:
Poster from Mommy Sense (Davao), my personal breastfeeding support group.

Not from Davao? 
Other places in the Philippines are having their own celebration too. Check out these EVENT POSTERS from other (reliable sources) popular Breastfeeding-Support Groups in the country:

Malate, Manila
Poster from Chronicles of a Nursing Mom (Manila)

Cagayan de Oro Poster from Mommy Bright Side (CDO)

Cebu and Bacolod (I'm confirming it pa.hehe)

*If you have other information to add or have questions/comments/reactions, feel free to contact me (Sao) at saosao.yb@gmail.com and kindly indicate name and location.

JOIN our BREASTFEEDING GROUP in The Philippines:

Meet BFing moms from all around the country (Philippines) via online and feel free to learn, relate, get or give inspiration. JOIN this exclusive Facebook Group "Breastfeeding Pinays" : This group seeks to provide support and information to Filipino families who are interested in breastfeeding. 

The Amazing Nursingmom

I am obsessed with The Amazing Spiderman Movie so it inspired me for the title of this blog post (hehe).

We had another Parent's Meeting at school, for my eldest child Ace, who is in Nursery. And as usual, my EBF baby boy, Coy, was with me. There's no way (no time & energy left) for me to be pumping & storing breastmilk for now. Heck, it's even a struggle for me to find time to have meals. So baby must come with me, I am a nursing mom. And so, another parent (this happened before) who's sitting next to me asked what baby's age is (just to add, lately I'm not receiving questions that asked how many months but rather 'pila na ni ka tuig?' or in english: how many 'years'?). When I answered that my baby is 8 months old, she seemed amazed and added that he is 'buyag' (I can't translate buyag, but it's something like she can't believe he's still an infant). Then I sensed that just like everybody else, she's gonna ask what's his milk (in many instances, what 'brand' of milk), so I took the opportunity to share before these words come out from her mouth...

By the way, all conversations (written in bold) are originally spoken in vernacular (bisaya/visayan). I said, "He's breastfed so I just can't leave him at home. Besides, he loves it here during meetings." And there, the mom had eyes widened and are dashing with amusement and she added (or to re-confirm the BF thingy), "As in purely breastfed? No powdered milk?" then I proudly replied, "Of course, hello? Formula milk is just too expensive." And just like any other stranger I met for this year, I'm feeling glad that they'd get amazed and would usually comment, "Wow, mother's milk, that's great!" or "Wow, so this child is really close to the mother" or "Wow, how big your financial savings are!" and always, always with the tone of surprise. Can't blame them though, anyone who'd discovered that an ultra petite & teenage-looking mom like me could be capable of producing food for my baby & could dare to pop those boobies in public, would be just as amazed.

To continue, she praised the fact that I am breastfeeding my baby and that's a very great thing but she still seemed to be curious about  my breastfeeding experience (by the way she told me she has a 1.5 year old child left at home, who I suppose is not BF anymore), she asked again, "So you still can't sleep through the night coz you're feeding? Isn't it tiring?" Then again, proudly answered (and corrected this very common misconception) "Oh no 'te, he sleeps by my side, all I do is to be on a side-lying position and that's it, no effort!" She nodded, still surprised and so I added, "Because with my eldest whom I weaned at only 5 months old, I experienced the most dead-tired days and nights of my life. Imagine getting up at night, at dawn, at sunrise just to prepare milk, shake the bottles then wash & sterilize them all. With BF, all I do is lie down, I don't even have to really wake-up, I mean anybody can do that (change position) while half-asleep or even on deep sleep so technically, I am sleeping through the night." And I smiled the whole time while explaining.

Ok so I guess, for that day, and for that specific mom, breastfeeding is well-'defended', oh well like I'm at a court trial (hehe). More to go. Hwew! I just can't believe many parents still are amazed, but I don't know if it's a good thing though, sometimes I think that they think it's too inconvenient for a young-looking mom like me and that they think I am rich (I just look like one but I'm so penniless/unemployed), thinking that I can afford formula milk but why settle for this impractical, non-modernized, primitive way of feeding (I think that's what they think). In my mind, they might even wonder why I dare to face the hassle of bringing baby anytime anywhere, why dare to bare (sadly, Filipinos still have this discrimination for BFing & most people associate this to be only for the poor who can't afford formula milk, or for those unattractive not-so-young moms since men wouldn't care to look at her topless expo), why dare to wake-up at night feedings, dare to submit myself as a full-time mom when I can do better and earn money as a career-woman, and many other suffs I personally call 'myths'.

Well I completely understand, we all have different choices, beliefs and priorities. But just in my humble opinion, the fact is, there is something better than all of these (of what they think is better)-- and for me that's the 'best'. And the best choice, best belief, and best priority is what I have right now. Might not always be best for everybody but it is for ME. Afterall this is my baby, my family, my boobs, my life. I'm willing to share to anyone what works best for me (with matching #BREASTisBEST hashtags on my Instagram photos of me, beautifully and blissfully breastfeeding). And yes, just simply be amazed. ;)

Essential LOVE Reminders

This is not my article. Just found these on several posts (Facebook Notes few years ago). I think it is an essential reminder to all lovers out there. ;)

1. "Ang mag-assume, TALO (kahit 2% pa yan)."

2. "Kung ayaw may DAHILAN, kung gusto may PARAAN."

3. "BACK OFF (as in back off) sa mga IN A RELATIONSHIP, kahit saan anggulo mo tingnan, ikaw pa rin ang mali."

4. "Maniwala sa IT'S COMPLICATED na status. Hindi lang chenes yan."

5. "Learn to LET GO kung alam mong wala na talaga."

6. "Keep your DIGNITY."

7. "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay."

8. "Ang QT (quality time), at least 5 hours lang per week."

9. "Hindi dahilan ang TIME."

10. "Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Kadalasan tama ito mga girls."

11. "If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. At some case this is applicable."

12. "Hindi balakid kung magkaiba ang RELIGION niyong dalawa."

13. "Kung kayang i-workout, i-WORKOUT!". Kalokohan ang reason na "IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME."

14. "All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is a two way street."

15. "Learn to forgive para magkaroon ka ng peace of mind."

16. "Some can forgive but can't forget."

17. "OPEN COMMUNICATION, TRUST AND HONESTY are the most important ingredients in a relationship."

18. "You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship pag hindi kasi, it can affect or even ruin your relationship."

19. "Always have your own set of friends separate from his para may iba kang channels that is without him."

20. "Make him miss you sometimes. when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted."

21. "You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary. not supplementary."

22. "There's NO SUCH THING as COOL OFF/GRAY AREA. Kung white, white! Kung black, black! Walang GRAY AREA."

23."There's a possibility that a person can get attracted to another. It's human nature. It's not wrong. But that is why you're in a commitment, you discipline yourself. One may get attracted to numerous prospects and its ok. As long as, you don't nurse the feeling and do something about it. Borderline between cheating and faithfulness. Recognize reality that you already have the person that can give you more than what you get for the cheap thrill of attraction."

24. "If you felt it, then it was true. Getting hurt doesn't always mean you suffered, it also means you loved sincerely. Don't frown because it's over. SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED."

25. "Everything will fall into place."

26. A man won't let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.

27. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.

28. There is a guy who will value you. There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don't lose hope.

29. Do not believe him when he says it's just the way he really is. He's not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.

30. He must respect you. No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.

31. If he fooled you, end it. Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.

32. Never start a relationship the wrong way. Do not steal another girl's man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.

33. Don't be afraid to be single. It's fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.

34. You will get over him. Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.

35. Be the one. Act like you are the one. Don't be a nagger. Don't hinder his gimmicks. Don't give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don't be easy. Don't be like every other girl he had in his life.

My Not-so-Beautiful Hospitalization Adventures

It was April last year 2012 when I was still working... my 2-year-old daughter who is usually hyperactive every second of everyday seemed to be normal (behave na).  SUPER unusual. But when the time came that she's no longer feeding , talking or even smiling, my heart and my mind was blown as I got home from work and staring at my matamlay baby girl. And I know at that very moment I am on "panic mode". Heck! I don't even have an income, just a volunteer nurse for two different services: a Diagnostic Laboratory and a non-profit OB Clinic. Volunteer, yes, not so charitable of me eh? ;) And then, that moment, I know this calls for hospitalization and that means we're gonna spend money-- lots of money (kaysa naman sa mapabayaan kami sa Government hospital. hmm). This is all so intense for me, it's my daughter's first hospitalization (aside from her birth) and first time to get really sick. She was vomiting and also pooping water! As in super watery stools and lethargic. My mom and hubby assisted me during the hospitalization. Upon discharging, my heart was pounding so hard waiting for our bill. But thank God, it was much less that I expected. Thanks to Phil Health! 

January that year (2012) I already contributed for years 2012 and 2013. And my baby Ace is my dependent. It's a big help. Especially that after my daughter's hospitalization, upon arriving home, I felt so sick. I'm having all the symptoms my daughter experienced (vomiting, diarrhea, lethargy, loss of appetite) and obviously shows i caught the virus or bacteria (it was not diagnosed, basta lang kay "Moderate Dehydration due to Gastroenteritis" daw yun. It's too difficult din to "catch" a good specimen for stool exam when there's just no stool, only water! And again, I know for sure I'm gonna get admitted! 

I don't know but these happenings made me think that it's really true that "bad luck strikes not just once but twice, or even thrice" (Big sigh)... I had to be hospitalized, I can't even have the power to sit or to talk! Super drained energy (Plus, it's stressful to be a patient's watcher esp. if the patient is your child). All the contributing factors made me stayed at the hospital for a couple of days. That's the saddest days of my life. For 2 years of no-separation from my first-born Ace, that time, it is happening. I miss her so much. Hubby had to get excused from work to take care of me (mom took care of my daughter). My sister wasn't here at Davao to help me (more sadly, she also had the bug, same symptoms w/ ours, only that, she's at Cebu that time to be our represebattive as our Clan mourns for the death our father's brother. Mas kawawa siya coz siya lang mag-isa doon.)

Haaay.. What an illness! This is epic! During my hospital stay, all I wanted is the intravenous administration of pregnant-safe drugs to control my excessive vomiting and the fetal heart monitoring. YES... That time I (secretly) was 3 months PREGNANT (with my charming baby Coy, my 2nd child) and nobody knows but me and Mel (and my OB-GYN just knew about it too). Hubby and I are conquering one of the real-life storms and are actualizing our "in sickness and in health" marriage vows. And we were unable to tell everyone about our second baby for some personal reasons so it's just among us, the medical team. It was super! All the secrets, the stresses, the illnesses. But again, thanks to PHIC, the bill wasn't that big. Great help for patients like us who are getting crazy with all other financial and emotional stuffs.

After that, I promised myself to stay healthy and also, as much as possible, prepare for emergency situations like these. God cannot ensure us, whether rich or poor, that we're gonna have healthy and emergency-proof lives. So better be prepared. One way is to secure your PHIC matters. The MDR I used for our April hospitalization is still the one I used for the birth of 2nd baby on October 2012. So Here are some quick info about it...

>REQUIREMENTS:

(Submit the following to the billing section prior to hospital discharge:)

*CF1 FORM (Duly accomplished PhilHealth Claim Form 1)

You can get this from the hospital or download it at www.philhealth.gov.ph. Fill your information together with the patient’s information. AND then (if employed) give it to your employer to be filled-up.

*CERTIFICATE OF CONTRIBUTION

(IF EMPLOYED) This is a certificate of your contribution to PhilHealth from your employer. It should state at least 6 months of contribution. Stating your participating amount, date of payment and OR number.

*MDR (Member Data Record) 

Clear copy of MDR. This your record from Philhealth together with your beneficiaries. This is a proof that your are registered at Philhealth. You can get this at any Philhealth center near you, anytime. In my case, I am "individually paying or volunteer" so I just showed my official receipts. If you are expecting, better get one ASAP, you don't want to get this one right after ka ni-raspa.

*PROOF OF RELATION

If the patient is not registered with your Philhealth (shown in your MDR), you need to provide this requirement.

If the patient is your spouse, you need a Marriage Certificate. And if the patient is your child, parent, or sibling, you need their Birth Certificate.

>HELPFUL TIPS:

* Prepare all the documents needed prior to confinement or as early as the day of confinement. It is easier to get the claim when it is included in your bill than reimbursing it after the confinement (but hospitals usually require people to process this within 24 hours upon admission).

* Ask you doctor, if he/she is accepting Philhealth. So that they will be informed that they have to deduct Philhealth from their charge. Again, discounts, we love! ;)

* Be a smart one, research and discover. Know more about your benefits. See PHIC's FAQs section.

http://www.philhealth.gov.ph/members/employed/faqs.html

* Davao City's new PHIC center is now located at Magallanes St. 

Good luck and let's all stay healthy, as much as possible and be prepared for some of these not-so-beautiful instances.

Babywearing with SaYa

You all know I am into Babywearing. And so when I saw my babywearing smart mommy friends joining a promo by SaYa, I immediately checked out SaYa Baby Carrier's Facebook Page. They have a Mother's Day promo and I just love that! Aside from wanting to share my little SaYa story, I also want to share this to my other friends (who are new to babywearing) because I know they also want to babywear and this is a great opportunity. This is so maSAYA! ;)

Here's the promo mechanics (photo grabbed from SaYa's page):

SaYa friends and fans!!! Here's our first promo for the year and it's just in time for Mother's Day! Winner(s) will be announced at 6pm Sunday. Promo runs from 3pm Wed, May 8th until May 12th, Sunday 12 noon. Thank you.

And here's my answer (to Question #3):

*Promise, I really wanted to keep it short but as usual, I just can't. Why do I always ends up enjoying sharing? hehe

Talking about Babywearing SUPPORT, well lucky me, I have A LOT. It's a beautiful destiny that I met these modern and smart moms of The POD at Davao City. Altogether, we shared ideas, tips and simply enjoyed its many benefits. I also have support from strangers. Seriously, like some dads (yes, dads!) approaching me while I proudly wear my baby, saying that I'm lucky to have a calm and very happy baby inside that carrier (or some thought it's my shirt) and then later asks where I bought it. Exciting times! I feel lika a model.hehe And I get to receive tons of inquiries from my friends and friends-of-friends and strangers about that babywearing stuff, where to get a carrier, and of course, SaYa is one of my most recommended sling. I also have my family's all-out support, esp. dear husband Mel (also a babywearing DAD. Yes, plus POGI POINTS!). Hubby and I are young parents who are on a tight budget and cannot afford to hire nannies for our two kids. When baby #2 came last 2012, I know I still had to take care of baby #1 (our hyperactive 3-yr-old daughter) and of course, attend to my human needs, house works and my work as a WAHM (clayist & artist). So to make things POSSIBLE, I let hubby choose which among these two would he finance: we hire at least one nanny which is P3,500 per month OR we buy a nice baby carrier for one-time payment of P1,500 (the VTB)? And yes, you bet, we made the BEST choice, we got into the SaYa, rather than the Yaya. Attachment Parenting in a fun and fashionable way-- one of the most exciting times of parenthood! More happy babies, more satisfied parents, more power to SaYa!

There you go, hoping to win! hehe To know more about SaYa, here's my favorite review and instruction blog by The Painter's Wife <-- click that. SaYa is available online. And also locally (Davao City) at Oak and Acorn, just near The POD, the home of Davao's smart and modern parents. ;)

And here are some of my photos babywearing with SaYa...

Baby Coy's first time to be worn and he's so happy to be in!

Easy breezy hands-free strolling at the park ;)

Let my younger sister try babywearing (good thing we're both size 0) and she loves it!

Babywearing with SaYa makes babysitting my hyper toddler possible
(and also the hassle-free window shopping and malling! Ooohyeah!)

As a thrifty young momma, I had to make the BEST decisions:
BABYWEARING and BREASTFEEDING
(took a photo w/ the formula milk that would supposedly make my hubby get bankrupt
IF we didn't decide for what's best. Thank God for this!)

My mommy friend Ella took this beautifully captured sweet candid shot while we were attending a
 La Leche Leauge's Breastfeeding Meeting last February 2013 at Mothercare Abreeza Mall, Davao

Me and "The Pod Moms" and our babies' little exclusive group called "Peas in The POD" on our
Summer 2013 Pool Session. We all love SaYa and Babywearing in general.
Thanks Anj (Must Love Babies) for this beautiful group shot.

The paparazzi caught me malling again w/ my bubba! 

When baby is sick, this is one of the best CURE. 

I'm not wondering why people wonder why he is so MASAYA. 

Babywearing makes Everyday a HAPPY Family Day  ;)

UPDATE: I am not the grand winner for the SaYa Mother's Day 2013 Shoutout Promo but I did won a Nursing Bandeau worth PhP450 from Blissful Babes! SaYa's prizes for all the participants. Yay!! ;)

Artsy Craftsy Super Moms: Mom & Me Scrapbooking

May 9, 2013, our "Peas in The POD" Playgroup for this Thursday is at Zoofari Kids Adventure at Bacaca Rd. wherein we made our own scrapbook for a contest ("Mom and Me" Scrapbooking Contest). So cute! I brought w/ me the whole gang, and so I am babywearing baby Coy while I'm scrapbooking (yes, that's possible since I am in my Super SaoSao Mode that time.haha) while Ate Ace is playing and enjoying a lot, and her "yayo", Daddy Mel is also enjoying twice as much (haha, nag slide2 daw siya didto. I'm sooo jealous! hehe)

And so, here's my output. I dunno if it's finished, I still have a lot of things in mind pa but since I'm out of time (we have to go home na coz we can no longer afford to extend some more playtime and our tummies are already saying G-R-R-R), I must keep it simple, but meaningful. 

Here's my "Mom & Me Scrapbooking Contest" entry #13. I realized my face was so dark and oily. If i only had enough time to print photos before coming here.haha But it's ok, I love our rush shots w/ my kids. I kinda like it when we're a little unprepared. Now look at my daughter, I think she like my work! hehe

And because nga I am babywearing and have limited chance to be in my usual "Mamugs Mode", I decided to keep it simple and elegant. I included na lang some handwritten quotes to somehow tell a little story (char): "Home in mommy's heart" because I have cut-outs of houses and i cropped our photos heart-shaped. and because the stickers in my art kit are mostly gifts, i included "Children are the Best Gift" (and i was so confused if it's gift or gifts.haha Whatever basta yun na yung essence. I'm really in a hurry... plus, hungry.) Hehe 

And I am happy that ate Ace loved the output, so even if I won't win this contest, I am a winner in my children's heart (char again. hehe). And I enjoyed it! Everybody did. Making art together w/ The POD moms and babies, it's a great experience. 

Sometimes there's chika galore and sometimes serious "career" mode, yung pang house and lot ang prize. hehe 

By the way, thanks Ash for taking these shots for me. ;)

 

Fun times! Horray for artsy craftsy super moms! ADvanced happy Mom's Day to us!

MORE PHOTOS HERE: 
Mom&Me: Scrapbooking Event with mommies from The Pod by Zoofari - Kids Adventure Facebook Page

The Joy of Separation Anxiety

It has been 6 months and 1 week of having my son with me almost ALL THE TIME. And when i say 'all the time', that's like bringing him while i am having meet-ups for my online shop (just me and him and my big bag full of ordered items), bringing him at our 3-hour long (supposedly wedding) seminars, and even sometimes when i had to pee (*don't worry, it's safe; in all scenarios, i'm babywearing him). It's just that he can't be far from me, I am his food (direct breastfeeding), the milk factory. And i cannot be far from him, he needs me. 

Separation = (as much as possible) Cannot Be

On my birthday (and also hubby's mom's birthday), while attending the Holy Mass, we were with my in-laws whom we see like once or twice a month only, baby Coy would cry if held by them. I'm obviously considering it as Stranger Anxiety. And during the Communion, as soon as i stood up from my seat (mom-in-law carries him while they remained seated), he cried again. I proceeded to the queuing line and signaled hubby Mel to take care of our crying Coy, who for sure just showed on my very face that he's having Separation Anxiety. Looking at those poor, innocent eyes with a touch of fear and longing for me, i felt sad. But i know someday, he must learn to deal with that. And also, I had to deal with that. But sometimes, it seems like it is ME who have Separation Anxiety...

Last Monday i have some important bank stuffs and had to go to AC's possible pre-school for some enrollment stuffs (these are just nearby). I decided not to bring him since we dont have a car anymore and the weather is too freaky and bipolar (it's sunny but it's raining, both at the same time.. freaky). And i can't ask anybody else to do it so there I went out, all by myself. For the record, after 6 months that was my first time to be separated  from him.  Every step I took  was agonizing. What if my sister forgot that i asked her watch over my son? What if big sis Ace tries to play with her baby brother? What if he wakes up and cry so hard that I can hear him in my brain?

But of course I made sure he was well fed and fast asleep,  and let my sister and mom watch over him. And I instructed them never to feed him with (ate Ace's) formula milk.  They may give him baby food and water but not milk that aint coming from my boobs. And I really had to go. So there, I was in a real hurry, I had been gone for almost two hours. Two RUSH hours (damn! i hated the fact that Bank XXX had so many customers, and so many vehicles causing road traffic, and my tiny legs and feet can't have a "super speedy walk" mode.)

Every second counts.  I can't imagine me, the carefree, happy-go-lucky, lakwatserang Saori, living a life like this, for four years now. Since I entered motherhood, I always had to go home right away because some little people needed their mother, and that mother is ME.

But I am not complaining (I just still cannot imagine at times. haha). Yes it may ruin my glamorz stuffs, dates with BFFs, my social life, it makes me a "friend that sucks" or can no longer go out to drink, to shop, to have a vacation on the neighboring island. I know this is just temporary. Someday my kids would just grow up and won't be needing my boobs, my babysitting, my presence. They may not even want to see me around, pampering them, holding their hands-- I guess that's what most creatures called 'teenagers' feel like doing. Someday I can ALL THE "ME TIME" that I need, ALL BY MYSELF.

So I love it like this. I am NOT alone all by myself. I may be on a "Time Crisis" mode but that's cool.  At least in my life now,  I never have the chance to get bored to death like most people do. This means I am needed. My baby is anxious without ME or if he's with people that is not ME. This means my kids are 'still' mine, although someday we really need to let go, eventually I might be needing to earn big far away from here and eventually my kids might get married and live lives of their own. Someday, we ALL need to let go.

So going back, when I got home after I went outside for almost 2 hours, my mama was carrying my son and she said, "dali na mommy oh, sige na ni siya'g sopsop sa iyang kamut" (she told me that he might be hungry already). And when my son turned his head towards me as he heard my voice, he gave us a big warm smile and was jumping for joy (as in joooooooooy). ;) 

SEPARATION? Letting go? As of now,  as in a "right now" now,  letting go means a minute away from him for me to poop.hehe Almost always, separation is a no-no. Although sometimes, I might be needing to be away for an hour (I think I just rehearsed for the upcoming election day.hehe). But for most of the time, I enjoy my baby being just sooooo happy to see my face, hear my voice,  pull my hair, suck my boobs, get cuddled, carried, worn and kissed. And that's just happening now. That's the joy of Separation Anxiety NOW. Gotta enjoy this while it's STILL here, for time flies by so fast and kids grow up in a flash. Now that's Time Crisis!