WIFEYDIARIES: Dealing with a DOTAholic Husband

COMPUTER GAME ADDICTION

I am getting pissed of with married men or family guys who are DOTA addicts. They spend most of their time with the game and with the same barkada, most are not "familiado" or if ever they are, they have nannies and helpers and labanderas. They are more pushed closer to their addiction as their barkadas push each other to play and spend more & more time playing the game.  Instead of getting excited for the RD (Rest Days) for some QT (Quaity Time) with family or friends, they are so eager to add up "butt sores" on their asses as they play DOTA (for 10 hours or more!) They isolate themselves to others who can influence them to be a better father, lover and goal-driven, responsible, mature individual. They simply waste their time playing the game. They could have made a career in sports or arts or any income-generating bussinesses or just simply have a date with the wife. They could have strengthen their family life or relationship with their loved ones. Having DOTA addiction is not that far from having other addiction like alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, gambling, forbidden sex, and other disgusting vices available out there. They all bring out the worse in oneself.

WISH I HAD ALL THE TIME TO PLAY IT TOO
HAHAHA Yes, I am just not against computer games. In fact, am one of the very very rare girls who play StarCraft. At first I practiced at home, when we had our new computer and it's cool, my brain becomes more strategic and alert. And if I play it at school (i mean, the computer shop atbang sa school. haha), feeling-hawd na kaayo ko whenever the small boys make tapok on my back to see my game, a girl player's game. hahaha Those were the days, I'm a mother now, no time for silly games. But if i had the chance, I'd really love to play this DOTA too and to finally enter my hubby's world. (Naks! ka swerte naman talaga ng husband ko for having a wife like me. hehe Just kidding). #Pagyaytime lang naman, eh kaso wala. I say, it's not very good to play online games because this can be very addictive but it's not also bad to learn it and play with your partner because this too can be considered as your bonding moments. AGAIN, PAG-MAY-TIME. Will wait for it... Candy Crush lang muna ako. hmmm

MY DOTAholic HUSBAND

Back to the addiction. My husband is one of them. Another kalerky wifey and hubby commotion is up and I was only triggerred because of his labada that was left inside the washer for a day, and I hate clothes smelling like shit. I was happy na sana that he volunteered to help out with my piles of family laundry. I cannot possibly hang dry all those clothes while babywearing (our baby is teething and even if I am away for like one second, he'll know!) and with the added task of babysitting our hyper kid, there's just no way out. Not even a chance to eat full meals (the hunger triggered me to get mad!).  And we were unable to attend holy masses because he spends hoursssssss w/ DOTA. Puwera gaba.

A HELPLESS HELPER-LESS WIFE

We are helper-less (can't afford nannies/kasambahay) but I hope I am not the only one playing the role as the helper here. My gosh, I am married to become his wife, not his muchacha. Di naman din kasi porque he puts money on the table, only he has the right to have his chill time. Heck, I haven't even have videoke and beer for a year now, and it's fine w/ me. All I need is some assistance so I could do basic human needs: eat, bathe, take a shit (defecate). This No-nanny mom-of-two life I have is making me crazy if I am just all alone with this. 

THE BARGAINING (a.k.a. 4th stage of Death)

And take note, hubby's no businessman but whenever he "defends" these kinds of activities (which is just so normal for all the other guys I know, because bilang lalake, they "deserve" it daw), that whenever he makes time pass by through computer games, his defense would be, "well, it's better than drinking beer all night long" And whenever he drinks beer all night long, (this was our BROADCASTED problem last February, remember? HAHAHA I backed-out from our supposedly church wedding) he'd defend, "well, beer is better than having another woman." Winner!!!

THE ACCEPTANCE (5th stage of Death. haha Oh dear! This is as shitty as Death, isn'it?)

Of course my soft heart says that it's a win-win situation (na lang) for us. Di pa ko ana? di daw xa mag beer og di daw mang-babae (mang-lake lang?) hehe Sorry I can't english them (this is a blog, by the way.)  It's just freakishly weird that he has this big problems about his PAST TIME while here I am, so running out of time (esp. now that I need time to prepare for our baby's baptism & birthday which is just weeks to go. HUHUHU), that's so shit on my part. He always sees to it that when he's home, he's already so tired so that he'd just jump into our bed and have a good sleep. Why don't we have sex everyday na lang? haha (I missed that, we used to do it 3x daily but because of DOTA shit, I'm running out of it-- sorry, I'm a  very sexual woman lang jud.) But I'm starting to think he's slowly transforming into a gay. hahahah His DOTA playmates are mostly gay din kasi. hmmmmm. Hehe

WHY MEN AND WOMEN ARE FROM DIFFERENT PLANETS?

There's a huge difference between the sexes. Men are less mature than women. Any other wives and moms out there can attest, relate and testify to this BITTER truth. But the men, young and old, find this really really FUNNY coz they can relate (uuuy, aminin!) and that they find it amusing for women to always fuss about their guy's "selfie" acts (yung tipong ang lalake lang ang may karapatang mag enjoy). But well, #dawatdawatlang... This is a wife's life. Gotta deal with my "Young Mommy Life Adventures" and accept the shit. I signed up for this, to get married to become a nanny & labandera and there's no turning back.

THE WEAKER SEX

For this happening (nag OT na naman si banakels sa DOTA while I am sooooo needing help for hanging the labada, cleaning the room, eat a full meal, manage my online business, so many orders declined na tuloy,huhuhu etc). Because of all tgese, it's a shame but I freakingly texted my husband's workmates to stop "inviting" him for computer games because I need him here to assist me and I hope that they could understand even if they can't relate w/ this Family Life shit. Hahaha Taray ni mader! Nag-text jud murag mama nagita's anak. But the shame isn't on me. Another living proof of the rumors I heard from veteran wives and moms, that the male species are the weaker sex. I hate to be feminist, but MEN really are the weaker sex. Slow to mature, slow to realize ehat's important, and so easy to give in to YOLO-ing. 

WAIT FOR IT

I may sound so boring but sometimes being boring means growing up or just simply learning to face the "family-man" kinda life, and hashtag that #nganongnienter. Hehe Ok, so this will go to my "young mommy life" blog catergory, something to laugh at when we get older and hubby's mature, finally, in God's time (women said it's a minimum of 10 years.) Oh well, maghihintay ako magpakailanman. 

OH GOD ENLIGHTEN ME. PRAYING FOR HIS FAST CONVERSION (& REHABILITATION).

MOMMYDIARIES: Reflecting on my Financial Wizardry

Maalaan na jud kog wakwak ani kay kadlawn manglaba og manghalay. Before mangmata ang mga amo, dapat human na. Dapat sad humana kog kaligo (xettt katugnaw raba jud!) kay if di ko kaligo og una, never na jud ko kaligo throughout the day. Hegs xa, but mami-miss ko to someday. ;)

Bisayang blog lang, wa pakoy pamahaw ok? haha So ayun, ang mga "Bossing" ko, minsan lang sila bata, minsan lang din ako magkakaganito. Hindi mahirap alagaan si bunso (in fact, super easy baby lang xa) as compared to AC na kelangan talaga super duper high ang energy ng babysitter (ako, siyempre, walay yaya nga maka survive niya) but now that dalagita na siya, I can feel na malapit na ma-ubos ang oras ko. Hindi ako mamamatay. haha But I will face another phase in life and it'll be sooner than I think it is coz super fast ang time. I had a goal of having two kids by the age of 25 and before 30s, dapat may stable job AND stable income-generating business na ako. I have four more years left. Sana maka habol sa quota. By the age of 40, I have two teenagers na so dapat triple na ang aking pera niyan, mga panuhak nga bag-ong tubo, mangayo na pod ni og mga high-end gadgets, need muna magpa rich ni mader, yung tipong ala-Napoles ang determination & wit sa pagpo-provide for her kids. Oh davah, naging role model na xa. Ako na jud. But siyempre, not like her na by ALL means ang peg, even if billions ang korakoton. 

Atoa, simple lang, hago2 din pag may time then pamuggasay then apply my super kuripot talent and sales talk. hehe Help me Lord. Please. Just a few years to go before my deadline ends. I want to afford this and that and those ASAP. Sana naman matulungan din ako sa mga words of wisdom nila Robert, Francis, Bo, and all other fianncial wizards. Alam kong isa  din akong financial wizard di lang dahil nakasaad sa aking zodiac sign. But there must be a reason why I am always the Class Treasurer even since Grade school and nung high school, kugihan kaayo ko mamaligya'g bisa'g unsa, borloloys, e-loads, etc. Then my online Saori-Sari store and Likhanisaosao came up. But on hiatus pa muna coz di pa kaya sa budget ni hubby and most of all, sa "time" coz I prefer to "career" talaga this motherhood thingy (ang buyaaaag, super enjoy ako esp. now na Smart Parenting ang peg) during the most crucial years of a human beings' life (newborn to toddler, magbasa kayo ng Psychology books para malaman niyo bakit). After that, since kids are not kids forever naman, I will have my time to SHINE.

HALA ka grabeng pag reflect2 samtang nag-hayhay lang. Hahaha Good day everyone! ;)

BIRTHDAYS: AC's Colorful 4th Birthday Celebration

A little story about AC's birthday this year, my English skills are just kinda off today, sorry sa bisdak inato blogging. It's September 1st, the first day of the “ber” months, meaning, it’s my chid’s birthday once again! But few days back, just when I was so ready to prepare for our firstborn's 4th birthday party, on payday, hubby's card was 'eaten' by the ATM and sweldo is a week delayed. Yes, no sweldo, and he only had pocket-money left on hand. If only you saw his face, he was like a little kid na kahilakooooon kaayo ka wa gitagaa'g candy.haha Grabe twist of fate and change of plans, this isn’t new naman so keri lang. There was one time that hubby had a VA (vehicular accident) a few days before AC’s birthday and I felt the same awful “zero-balance” feeling.  And knowing me, as a very strict treasurer (a.k.a. sigurista, wa-is, kuripot, barat), I would not let our 'untouchables' (savings account) get touched, that's for our bunso's 'always-moved' baptism & next year's tuition fee, I am always a fan of full-payment kasi. So yun, a little budget has become our daughter's simple (family lunch date) celebration for her birthday, plus of course w/ the help of the beloved grannies.

Photos

Again, special thanks for the grannies to back us up. The “kinakusgang apo” enjoyed her “party-party”, as she has been talking about this even a few weeks back. 

Last week, she even made a drawing of her own birthday party! Starring ang family. Can you see baby Coy (the small stick-figure), Mamita (with the big eyeglasses), and daddy (the curly one)? haha With all the balloon galore, party hats, cake, etc. that she has been repeatedly talking about. And, here's the party... The drawing turned into reality. ;)

As for the acknowledgement… Thanks everyone! 

Hubby's parents (MommyLa & DaddyLo) bought the delicious lechon manok, drinks, ice cream & cake from S&R and some “pampahaba ng buhay” delish pancit from Gorio’s.

S&R shopping

Simple handa.

It was a hot day, so our cake icing melted.

My parents (Wowa & Papa) bought the balloons, hats & candles from Panolee’s. These were AC's requests, including the gift: her very own android tablet from DCLA but it’s super Ok, AC can now play her fave games and apps & soon, she’ll be on Instagram too!

And of course Mamita's presence is still here, as represented by the boneless pork belly from Beko’s Biik. Of course, AC's great grandpa wouldn't call it a birthday w/o a litson, who would anyway?

Thanks to the grannies, we had food on the table. It's funny when our only visitors came (two nuns, our family friends), wala pang laman ang table, only empty plates. haha Good thing, the food arrived just right on time & we had a pina-abtek lunch party. We had some photos (sorry lang talaga, most are blurred, we’re kinda little hungry. hahaha)

It is a party indeed, my artistic team helped making the dining room look awesome. Hubby (& AC) pumped balloons then my mom & sister put-up the balloon-filled backdrop. Sister also got the chance to have a solo pic coz as the photographer, she wasn't included in the group pictures.

Few weeks ago, I already made a hand-painted “happy birthday” bantings/banner out of old art paper & used my recycled tarpaulin layout for her 3rd birthday (2012), AC's toddler photo collage tarp, good until her 6th birthday (ibang layout na naman sa 7th birthday party). Sulit, tipid, memorable.

Hubby and I had fun manuaIly pumping these balloons that I bought at Panolee's after attending one of Coy's playgroup session. It's just near The POD, where we have our play group. The assorted (size & colors) balloons are aroung P1 each (tag piso, coz a pack of 81 pcs. is worth P85). And so, while DIYing the balloons (whe two kids are awake, coz they love to join the fun), I also discovered another talent: balloon arrangement, & it's not easy pala talaga ha, as in! I now know why balloon decor fees are so $$$ but we had fun. Kahit papaano, I made these decors, some smiley that can stand on the floor and a flower-flower arch. Ok lang ba? I could have made more if wala akong kalong-kalong na baby while DIYing these.

Then the celebrator also took part. She personally hand-painted that #4 (just used masking tape to form the number) and also painted her name ''A-L-o-i-S-e'' while we were reviewing "name writing" for her exams last week. And so on her birthday, that's what we made as her name banner. She was also the one who volunteered decorating it to our backdrop, hanging them using a ribbon & sipit ng sampayan. As in she grabbed a chair and insisted that she do the decorating. Ayos, potential DIY assistant na 'to! ;)

Isn't it fun? Things happen for a reason & it isn't always 'how' or 'how much' we celebrate, but 'why' and 'what' we celebrate. Thank you Lord for the gift of life (AC) and of 'family', that's something great to celebrate. We may not have everything we wanted but we got just everything that we need. It’s up to you how you add colors to life.

MOMMYDIARIES: Family's Health is Wealth

MOMMY DIARIES: FAMILY'S HEALTH IS WEALTH

Haven't had a cough for years now. I thought it was just "panohot", and now I'm having a cough, the "kagalkal" type and it's not cool and not good, I kinda look like TB-hon (funny but true. huhu). Plus, both my kids have sinat, not so hot naman but just unwell (ate has sipon & is not hyper, and bunso "always" wants to see me, as in ALL-the-freakin-time). Then my sister is showing some signs of Dengue (fatigue, on-off fever, metallic taste, rashes)! T.T

Definitely my money for the baptism of my almost-toddler son will be spent for some more important stuffs, again. But i don't care too much about the money, I want our good health back. I know, righteous people would suggest me to "work" already so that I could help financing our needs and wants, but I already had TOO much work to do now (full-time mom-of-two YOUNG kids) and much savings than we thouht which is more than what I would be receiving as my "supposedly" sweldo if i am employed (around 10k on breastmilk alone and 6k+ on the nannies, thousandsss on the gasoline, food, laundry allowance, etc etc-- I computed them all before going into this "battle" of familiado life.) So, unsolicited advices are not appreciated unless you are in my shoes.  We may not have much money when we "strategized" to start a family (and to graduate earlier) as young parents but we are doing the best that we can, just not that bongga kinda life that I "used to" have. As long as we are in good health, that's less gastos, so that's also wealth.

I just pray that they'd all get well STAT, esp. my little children and that I'd be spared from futher illnesses. I need my superhuman strength to fulfill the tasks of MOTHERS esp. in times like these, damn, they (moms) really are SUPERHEROES. But as the song goes, even heroes have the right to bleed. Help me God. I need more prayers too.

--Ang Gipanohot nga Mama

BABYWEARING: All You Need (and Would Love) to Know About

My Personal Experience with Babywearing 

We have seen a lot of you wondered why and how my hubby and I carry our baby in that peice of cloth-- may it be the teal stretchy one, the black tie, the green ring sling, the brown cloth, etc. People find it unique or in some sense, just plain weird. Reactions vary, some think it's heavy and difficult for the parent, or too tight for the baby, too girly (or so gay) for the dads/dudes, or just plain odd and that it's letting us "spoil" the baby, which the righteous people think that it is wrong (IMO, there's no such thing as "spoiling" a baby, babies naturally needs to be carried and not laid flat on their cribs, that will cause spinal damage and un-met emotional needs which may affect him psychologically even until adulthood, just a Psychology thingy). Here in our country (Philippines), although it has been gaining popularity, babywearing is not mainstream. You heard it right, that’s called BABYWEARING (or BW for short), which simply and obviously means “wearing your baby”. If you babywear here in our country, you're a head turner (I know, as an Attached Parent who babywears, I am experiencing that now.) 

Well, that weird thing is what saved my life as a no-nanny full-time mom-of-two wherein almost always, I need to be a superwoman, available to them all. Not to forget that I am also a wife and I am also just a girl (I have mastered putting on make-up while BW. *teehee*) and of course, I am also a cloth-diapering labandera (laundry girl of the whole family). Instead of hiring a nanny for P3.500 per month, we invested a one-time payment of not more than P2,000 for a couple of good BW carriers and that’s just it. Sulit & tipid for a young, non-rich, thrifty mama like me. 

If you can't relate with my (pathetic) situation, BW also works for other BW-enthusiasts I know.  those with a maginhawa life, making their lives more maginhawa. For the wealthier moms, BW enabled them to enjoy their vacation travels without the hassles of bringing along bulky strollers, babies are calmer on flights too. Some businesswomen or employed moms can even bring along their babies to stores/offices without any hassle. BW also made all other family and even friends get involved in child care or mother-like-bonding with the baby the hands-free way-- the grannies loved to skip “arm carrying” their beloved grandkids by “wearing” them instead. My BW support group from The POD also enjoyed the benefits of BW, our babies are in a calm-type-of alert (& smart) state and are very happy babies too. I first discovered #babywearing on Instagram, a photo-sharing app and there I discovered a lot of foreigners BW while hiking, going to the beach or even while working & doing chores coz they usually don't have helpers or nannies there, right? So, babywearing-- it's you already! (haha  Pinoy version of ikaw na talaga). Try it and find out if it works for you too.

Be Aware and then Baby Wear

BUT before trying BW and purchasing slings, equip yourself first with some knowledge about this new thing, just to be prepared. More and more amazing stuffs about BW are yet to be explored. You just have to make reading and researching a habit. If you are too busy (or lazy) or just too clueless how to research and read about this strange thing, well, you have found the right post coz I'll be featuring important reads and images from great links from trusted BW organizations and blogs. So , read along! Read read also if there's time! (If that's how to translate the Filipino term 'basa basa din pag may time' in english. haha). It's time for you to open yourselves and be AWARE about Smart Parenting, Attachment Parenting and BW. So let me personally introduce you to the beautiful and blissful world of BW which made parenting easier & more fun! Plus, baby carriers are fun to collect! *wink*

What is Babywearing? 
FROM babywearinginternational.org

"Babywearing" simply means holding or carrying a baby or young child using a cloth baby carrier. Holding babies is natural and universal; baby carriers make it easier and more comfortable, allowing parents and caregivers to hold or carry their children while attending to the daily tasks of living. Babywearing helps a new dad put a fussy newborn to sleep. It allows a new mom use both hands to make a sandwich. It lets an experienced parent or caregiver carry a baby on her back and wash the dishes, do the laundry, take a hike, or weed the garden, all while keeping the baby safe and content.

The Benefits of Babywearing

FROM lalecheleague.org

Baby wearing is incredibly helpful in integrating baby into your daily life. You can interact with your baby throughout the day, breastfeed frequently, and still play with an older child and accomplish adult tasks. Babies benefit from spending time in the rich learning environment of the adult world. Parents feel more confident and less isolated. Baby wearing also makes the world more baby-friendly. As Bill and Martha Sears explain: "When adults wear babies, we let our children know that babies are important and that they belong with their parents. We teach our children...that big people care for little people and that babies are fun to be around."  PLEASE READ MORE HERE.

Babywearing & Healthy Hip Positioning

DID YOU KNOW? Some types of baby carriers and other equipment may interfere with healthy hip positioning. So please check out the International Hip Dysplasia Institute website because they have series of drawings that demonstrate typical devices that allow healthier hip positioning in comparison to those which do not, including Car Seats, Baby Harnesses/Carriers, and Baby Slings.

Yes, again, there are baby carriers NOT RECOMMENDED for carrying or wearing your baby. This image from the International Hip Dysplasia Institute shows the importance of using a carrier that places a baby in a seated position (one on the right), and not hanging by their crotch (like that one on the left).

YES, RECOMMENDED

There are plenty of carriers that place baby in the correct position, including but not limited to ERGObaby (popular with celebs! But price is also so-celeb, at SM stores that’s 6k-8k pesos), Boba, Tula, K'tan, SaYa, as well as wraps (like Rai Tie, Maya wrap) and ring slings (Sakura Bloom, Next9, and my own quality but affordable ring slings that I'm selling within the Philippines. hehe, just email likhanisaosao@gmail.com for inquiries), as long as they are used correctly.

NOT RECOMMENDED

Baby Bjorn, Snuglis and Infantino front packs (like that carrier on the left) are NOT recommended, as well as those cheap-cost (below P500 baby harnesses) also called "crotch-dangler" carriers available at the malls which are not ergonomically structured for carrying a human baby. They make baby's body swaddle, dangle the legs or whatever that is really uncomfortable to both the baby and the wearer. Because it's NOT TIGHT enough to secure the baby into place (yes, BW has to be tight just right, not loose coz baby will move/swaddle and that might damage the spine or cause falls, so it's just NOT WEIRD if we carry our baby snuggly, that's the most frequent misconception I received so far). 

I have actually tried those cheap pre-made buckle carriers with my firstborn, when my Smart Parenting skills are not yet activated and Babywearing is an ALIEN word for me. And I just used it once. She had pilas on her singit and I kept hugging her with my two hands coz she was swaddling, moving to the sides, or whatever that's not helpful, as in! 

But with the recommended carriers and slings, I can even breastfeed while babywearing while window shopping and strolling at the malls, I was able to eat properly on restaurants, I can attend to my energetic firstborn child while being an attached parent to my youngest, I can put on my make-up while not worrying my baby has crawled down our stairs. It's a big help (again, emphasizing this) in my no-nanny full-time mom-of-two life. Thanks to babywearing-recommended carriers!

BABYWEARING CELEBS

Just for fun and inspiration. Check out these Babywearing CELEBS!!! But note, not all celebs you see over the internet wear their babies properly. But these examples I will show you are my favorite, and I got them from this cool babywearing blog (www.carrymeaway.com) where they offer suggestions and advices if ever they did it incorrectly, tao lang po sila kahit artista. So, get star-strucked now and be inspired to babywear too!

Kate Hudson out and about in a gorgeous ring sling

Kelly Rutherford holds her baby close enough to kiss!

Eric Dane Babywearing on Grey’s Anatomy

Watch the VIDEO CLIP here

Bethenny Frankel makes babywearing look so fun

Tisha Campbell Martin wearing a stretchy wrap

BABYWEARING "DADDY" CELEBS

Honestly, they're my inspiration. The daddy-child bonding is just so sweet, 

and they are definitely HOT!

Orlando Bloom with son Flynn

NBA star Steve Nash wears baby Matteo

Cam Gigandet with daughter Everleigh Ray

Channing Tatum with OUR baby.
hahaha This is MY blog and I can do that! 

RELATED READS

I hope you learned a lot. Got more interested and still curious? 

Remember, read read also if there's time.. ;)

Ask Dr. Sears About Babywearing

Informative articles and answers to common babywearing questions from Dr. Sears.

Ten Reasons to Wear your Baby

Reasons why we need (and love) to babywear explained by The Natural Child Project.

The Science of Babywearing

Peer reviewed articles, scientific studies and analysis, historical precedent, cultural influence, and more from TheBabyWearer.com

Gentle Responses to Babywearing Negativity

From “Don’t you ever put that poor baby down?” to “My baby did just fine in a buggy”…here are some lovely suggestions for gentle responses to negative comments.

PS:  email likhanisaosao@gmail.com for inquiries

MOMMYDIARIES: Beating My Kadayawan Blues

Kadayawan... Festival, Feast, Festive.. But this 2013, I spent it asleep at home with my baby. Everybody else in the family, including my firstborn kid went out on their different trips to check out some 'kalingawan' (happenings) around and just celebrate the city's biggest festival. It's okay coz I'm learning to be a "home buddy" now. It's just that I (super duper) wanted to go to DavCon for The Great Kadayawan Trade Fair and Bazaar, to shop, eat, see my  friends' booths. Through the years, I always check-out the Trade Fair there but since it was cloudy/rainy and I'm all alone (with my baby), I didn't risked it. I also wanted to see my kid crush Daniel Padilla (haha, don't laugh, but I fancy him).  But it's okay. As long as I have eaten a lot of duryans at The Durian Festival! (haha). It's okay for me, really, although i am teasing myself for slightly pretending. I did this last year too, I was so pregnant, just behaved, but at least last year I had photos of some floral floats, exhibits, etc. This 2013 is kind of a "Rest Year" for me, if there's such a term.

But I still got to admit, a tiny part of me is screaming inside, that I hated it this way. When I was a student, it was a 'tragedy' for me if I'm on night/graveyard shift for hospital duty during kadayawan week. I see the Mall Sale spotlights calling me, the cheerful music outside and the text invites of friends partying & these are all killing me. It's kind of a big deal for me, yes, it's because Kadayawan for me is not just about shopping on sale galore, eating unli durian, or food tripping. Kadayawan Nights, as I call it, were the best nights of the year, well, for me. When I was younger, and a party animal too, kadayawan for me means being out with my gay friends, looking out for our favorite celebs on malls (it's a shame to admit but i dare to go w/ a stampede of fans just to get starstrucked.haha) and when the moon is up, I spend the entire night drinking out, bar hop with friends anywhere and i only go home during sunrise (mom wants me safe so she would prefer 6am than 2am. haha Yeah, cool mom!). I sleep all day and wake up with a hangover and freshen up a bit and do it all again. Young, wild, carefree. That's just me. Well, as for an UPDATE-- that 'was' me.

It WAS my life, way back when there's no Ace and no Coy Coy waiting for their mommy at home (but today, i could NEVER imagine life without them, EVER). Of course, along with my early pregnancy and marriage, I am aware of the consequence that my youth would not be fully shut-down in a blink of an eye so i had to double my effort to update/upgrade myself into a 'proper' mom & a wife. After I gave birth with firstborn daughter Ace, sometimes I pump and throw breastmilk after having a 'mommy break'. I did that silly thing just to go out to take a 'night off' from my new & strange job called motherhood, then just party, drink, smoke. I even hang out with guy friends (i used to pefer to be with dudes than girls) but with permission w/ hubby of course, who is the one watching over our baby at home. I dared to do those stuffs, really, (right now I can't also imagine myself that I was once like that but i do have evidences on my old Friendster photos. haha It's a different version of my latest self now.) Yeah, upgrade indeed coz years passed by, my urge to do those stuffs gradually decreased. I finally had the strength to decline (& endure doing that) the invites of my single friends. The last time I went out for a drink was during those nights I probably conceived my latest baby, Coy. That's around January last 2012. Hooray for me, I'm vices-free for 1.5 year and EBF is a major factor for my clean-living now. Yay!

I now find inspiration in the quote ''Sorry I suck as a friend, I'm too busy being an awesome mom.'' (hehe, it's cute!) Now that I fully embraced mommyhood and I see my gorgeous, gifted children, I say, there's always a Kadayawan, a party, a celebration some other time. And you beer, you can wait for me (wink) but this time, I'm a 'Family First' kind of gal and let's just have a feast on that.

Philippines Breastfeeding Smart Mob 2013

Hello people of the Philippines! I bet you didn't know, August is the BREASTFEEDING MONTH. Now you know, so let us celebrate! Join the BREASTFEEDING SMART MOB 2013! #BreastfeedingPH #smartmob

To all breastfeeding pinays (purely / mixed, directly / pumping), also open to pregnant moms determined to breastfeed and also to those BF advocates who just weaned... Mag tapok og mag ila-ila ta (let's meet and greet) as we celebrate World Breastfeeding Month!

"COMING TOGETHER, FEEDING TOGETHER"
(A Breastfeeding Awareness Campaign)

This is a simultaneous event happening in various venues at Luzon, Visayas & Mindanao. First time in the Philippines. Tara! Don't be shy. Let's meet, greet and latch altogether.

When? Aug 3, 2013, Saturday at 3 - 4 pm

Where? Various venues in the country. (for Davao: Don Beppe Ristorante Italiano at The Peak, Gaisano Mall of Davao). For other locations in the Philippines, see the posters below.

What to do?
Simple... Let's meet, greet and latch alogether. =) (For Davao: Look for the ladies in orange with babies wearing white, that's me and some of my mommy friends from The POD-- medyo kinareer lang, nagpa print talaga ng breastfeeding shirts. hehe)

What to wear?
Wear any comfortable clothing, you may also use nursing covers. (For Davao: if possible, moms wear a color ORANGE top so that we'd be more "shocking" and let the babies wear WHITE. Well, just for uniformity in our pictorial <char>). Documentation will later be shared to the web through our photos and blogs.

Why?
Just IMHO (in my humble opinion) we do this to promote and "normalize" breastfeeding. We can still get too self-conscious to even try breastfeeding in public and only do it in private for some personal reasons (but not me.. or am I just so proud to flaunt that I finally have boobs now? hehe). Because sometimes our society makes us feel that nursing in public is obscene. But, indecent clothes and pornography are more socially acceptable than us women simply "feeding" our babies. And that's not cool! So together, let us fight for our right to breastfeed in public. Show the world how we can beautifully and blissfully breastfeed our beloved babies without discrimination.

In the first place, why breastfeed?
(Again, IMHO) This smart mob also aims to educate families about breastfeeding. Breasfeeding is still the healthiest & best way to feed (and to love) our children despite the availability of over-priced cow's milk extravangantly marketed by multi-million "business" companies. (Lactivist lang ang peg? hehe) And the best part, it saves us a lot of money. Heck, it's FREE milk! So, let's help market breastfeeding, also for free. 

See you!
Let's say hi to each other for an hour. I swear, it's super fun to meet new moms and have a mommy support group. Let's help empower Filipino women to nurse their babies in public places. 

Spread the word!
Invite all your fab BFFs (breastfeeding friends).  The more, the merrier!

Event Poster:
Poster from Mommy Sense (Davao), my personal breastfeeding support group.

Not from Davao? 
Other places in the Philippines are having their own celebration too. Check out these EVENT POSTERS from other (reliable sources) popular Breastfeeding-Support Groups in the country:

Malate, Manila
Poster from Chronicles of a Nursing Mom (Manila)

Cagayan de Oro Poster from Mommy Bright Side (CDO)

Cebu and Bacolod (I'm confirming it pa.hehe)

*If you have other information to add or have questions/comments/reactions, feel free to contact me (Sao) at saosao.yb@gmail.com and kindly indicate name and location.

JOIN our BREASTFEEDING GROUP in The Philippines:

Meet BFing moms from all around the country (Philippines) via online and feel free to learn, relate, get or give inspiration. JOIN this exclusive Facebook Group "Breastfeeding Pinays" : This group seeks to provide support and information to Filipino families who are interested in breastfeeding. 

The Amazing Nursingmom

I am obsessed with The Amazing Spiderman Movie so it inspired me for the title of this blog post (hehe).

We had another Parent's Meeting at school, for my eldest child Ace, who is in Nursery. And as usual, my EBF baby boy, Coy, was with me. There's no way (no time & energy left) for me to be pumping & storing breastmilk for now. Heck, it's even a struggle for me to find time to have meals. So baby must come with me, I am a nursing mom. And so, another parent (this happened before) who's sitting next to me asked what baby's age is (just to add, lately I'm not receiving questions that asked how many months but rather 'pila na ni ka tuig?' or in english: how many 'years'?). When I answered that my baby is 8 months old, she seemed amazed and added that he is 'buyag' (I can't translate buyag, but it's something like she can't believe he's still an infant). Then I sensed that just like everybody else, she's gonna ask what's his milk (in many instances, what 'brand' of milk), so I took the opportunity to share before these words come out from her mouth...

By the way, all conversations (written in bold) are originally spoken in vernacular (bisaya/visayan). I said, "He's breastfed so I just can't leave him at home. Besides, he loves it here during meetings." And there, the mom had eyes widened and are dashing with amusement and she added (or to re-confirm the BF thingy), "As in purely breastfed? No powdered milk?" then I proudly replied, "Of course, hello? Formula milk is just too expensive." And just like any other stranger I met for this year, I'm feeling glad that they'd get amazed and would usually comment, "Wow, mother's milk, that's great!" or "Wow, so this child is really close to the mother" or "Wow, how big your financial savings are!" and always, always with the tone of surprise. Can't blame them though, anyone who'd discovered that an ultra petite & teenage-looking mom like me could be capable of producing food for my baby & could dare to pop those boobies in public, would be just as amazed.

To continue, she praised the fact that I am breastfeeding my baby and that's a very great thing but she still seemed to be curious about  my breastfeeding experience (by the way she told me she has a 1.5 year old child left at home, who I suppose is not BF anymore), she asked again, "So you still can't sleep through the night coz you're feeding? Isn't it tiring?" Then again, proudly answered (and corrected this very common misconception) "Oh no 'te, he sleeps by my side, all I do is to be on a side-lying position and that's it, no effort!" She nodded, still surprised and so I added, "Because with my eldest whom I weaned at only 5 months old, I experienced the most dead-tired days and nights of my life. Imagine getting up at night, at dawn, at sunrise just to prepare milk, shake the bottles then wash & sterilize them all. With BF, all I do is lie down, I don't even have to really wake-up, I mean anybody can do that (change position) while half-asleep or even on deep sleep so technically, I am sleeping through the night." And I smiled the whole time while explaining.

Ok so I guess, for that day, and for that specific mom, breastfeeding is well-'defended', oh well like I'm at a court trial (hehe). More to go. Hwew! I just can't believe many parents still are amazed, but I don't know if it's a good thing though, sometimes I think that they think it's too inconvenient for a young-looking mom like me and that they think I am rich (I just look like one but I'm so penniless/unemployed), thinking that I can afford formula milk but why settle for this impractical, non-modernized, primitive way of feeding (I think that's what they think). In my mind, they might even wonder why I dare to face the hassle of bringing baby anytime anywhere, why dare to bare (sadly, Filipinos still have this discrimination for BFing & most people associate this to be only for the poor who can't afford formula milk, or for those unattractive not-so-young moms since men wouldn't care to look at her topless expo), why dare to wake-up at night feedings, dare to submit myself as a full-time mom when I can do better and earn money as a career-woman, and many other suffs I personally call 'myths'.

Well I completely understand, we all have different choices, beliefs and priorities. But just in my humble opinion, the fact is, there is something better than all of these (of what they think is better)-- and for me that's the 'best'. And the best choice, best belief, and best priority is what I have right now. Might not always be best for everybody but it is for ME. Afterall this is my baby, my family, my boobs, my life. I'm willing to share to anyone what works best for me (with matching #BREASTisBEST hashtags on my Instagram photos of me, beautifully and blissfully breastfeeding). And yes, just simply be amazed. ;)

Essential LOVE Reminders

This is not my article. Just found these on several posts (Facebook Notes few years ago). I think it is an essential reminder to all lovers out there. ;)

1. "Ang mag-assume, TALO (kahit 2% pa yan)."

2. "Kung ayaw may DAHILAN, kung gusto may PARAAN."

3. "BACK OFF (as in back off) sa mga IN A RELATIONSHIP, kahit saan anggulo mo tingnan, ikaw pa rin ang mali."

4. "Maniwala sa IT'S COMPLICATED na status. Hindi lang chenes yan."

5. "Learn to LET GO kung alam mong wala na talaga."

6. "Keep your DIGNITY."

7. "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay."

8. "Ang QT (quality time), at least 5 hours lang per week."

9. "Hindi dahilan ang TIME."

10. "Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Kadalasan tama ito mga girls."

11. "If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. At some case this is applicable."

12. "Hindi balakid kung magkaiba ang RELIGION niyong dalawa."

13. "Kung kayang i-workout, i-WORKOUT!". Kalokohan ang reason na "IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME."

14. "All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is a two way street."

15. "Learn to forgive para magkaroon ka ng peace of mind."

16. "Some can forgive but can't forget."

17. "OPEN COMMUNICATION, TRUST AND HONESTY are the most important ingredients in a relationship."

18. "You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship pag hindi kasi, it can affect or even ruin your relationship."

19. "Always have your own set of friends separate from his para may iba kang channels that is without him."

20. "Make him miss you sometimes. when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted."

21. "You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary. not supplementary."

22. "There's NO SUCH THING as COOL OFF/GRAY AREA. Kung white, white! Kung black, black! Walang GRAY AREA."

23."There's a possibility that a person can get attracted to another. It's human nature. It's not wrong. But that is why you're in a commitment, you discipline yourself. One may get attracted to numerous prospects and its ok. As long as, you don't nurse the feeling and do something about it. Borderline between cheating and faithfulness. Recognize reality that you already have the person that can give you more than what you get for the cheap thrill of attraction."

24. "If you felt it, then it was true. Getting hurt doesn't always mean you suffered, it also means you loved sincerely. Don't frown because it's over. SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED."

25. "Everything will fall into place."

26. A man won't let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.

27. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.

28. There is a guy who will value you. There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don't lose hope.

29. Do not believe him when he says it's just the way he really is. He's not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.

30. He must respect you. No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.

31. If he fooled you, end it. Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.

32. Never start a relationship the wrong way. Do not steal another girl's man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.

33. Don't be afraid to be single. It's fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.

34. You will get over him. Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.

35. Be the one. Act like you are the one. Don't be a nagger. Don't hinder his gimmicks. Don't give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don't be easy. Don't be like every other girl he had in his life.